There is a profundity in a word like stuff. It can take us on a deep dive, because it carries so much meaning. That is how I am experiencing stuff these days. Stuff resides in the external tangible world and stuff resides in the internal subtle space of the body. Stuff requires our attention. If we do not attend to our stuff, it accumulates, gets tarnished, grows barnacles, crystallizes, solidifies, becomes moldy, rots, grows roots … you get the idea and perhaps you feel the truth from your own stuff?
Writing about stuff I am transported to the 70’s recalling George Carlin’s epic comic discourse about “Shit.” In his velvety voice he declares, “Now that’s some good shiiiit…” George Carlin also talks about stuff here. Enjoy! Yet I digress. See how hard it can be to stay focused on your stuff? Stuff can be exhausting. However with clearing stuff, we gain access to Sufficiency. If we have too much stuff (Plenty), embodied sufficiency is not possible. With too little stuff (lack), scarcity is activated.
My mother-in-law passed away suddenly in April. A week after we began clearing stuff out of her 1200 square foot condo, in the space of plenty. Though seemingly manageable, in a relatively small space, we spent 12 hours, 9:00 am – 9:00 pm with limited breaks, packing, sorting, bagging, tossing, and shaking our heads. There was so much stuff and so much more cleaning to go. Photographs, pants, blouses (she never wore), purses, shoes, pills, liquor (she never drank), and paper, lots and lots of paper. I found many presents we had given her over the years, unused or barely used. Fervently she had said she liked the gifts, and she would have gotten rid of them if she didn’t. They were kept for sentimental reasons, and not used because she was “saving them.” I’ve heard of that behavior before; I’ve “saved” special stuff myself for the “right time.” A glass-beaded necklace in her favorite colors picked out by the kids, a new Vera Brady purse with matching wallets and tissue holder, and a full bottle of Chanel #5 perfume, among the various unused items. There were many used and damaged items as well. My daughter remarked at how sad it was that Grande-Mère had so many clothes in her closet that were stained. I doubt that many of these material goods “sparked joy,” à la the KonMari Method.
Do you have any special stuff in your possession that you are waiting to enjoy? How many unused expensive perfumes, fine tailored shirts, soft leather wallets, vintage wines are you saving for a special occasion? What ingredient makes something special worthy of use? What about right now?
About 15 years ago Rich and I enjoyed a fine expensive Brandy with some of our dearest friends. The bottle was from his father’s collection of many years prior. At the time, the guestimated value of the bottle was $900. My statement was, “If not now, when?” The evening connections, banter and jovial engagement are etched in my mind forever. Fifteen years later, even the auction value in six figures does not waver my conviction of well spent and enjoyed bottle of Napoleon Cognac. We did not wait to savor that liquor. We engaged. We enjoyed. We embraced a special occasion with friends. Good choice. Precious memories.
Along with exterior tangible stuff, we accumulate stuff internally. Internal stuff manifests as unfelt emotions, stuck energy, creaks in our bones, chronic illness, numbness, and lack of body sensations and vitality. Internally stuffed stuff can be more challenging to clear and can cause us more stress than tangible stuff.
Internal stuff requires motivation and intention, in order for us to give attention. Ignoring internal stuff is common. Ignoring external stuff is harder especially when an event, like the death of a loved one, demands that you give attention whether it is convenient or not. In my current experience, with motivation to grow, I cannot help but give attention to both spaces at the same time. I see the internal stuff arising along with the external. Surfacing in this fluid exploration of Sufficiency, I am pondering how money turns into stuff. I am seeing how it becomes either enjoyed (desire), disregarded (ignorance), or thrown away (rejection). These are the three outcomes of our financial consumption, just beyond embodied sufficiency.
Let’s examine each.
Desire. The pattern of focused enjoyment is a natural and coveted way of being in the world. There is no problem with feeling joy – I love feeling joy. However, there is a slippery slope of joy that turns into grasping for more which stems from the belief that more is better. If I have this much joy now with this stuff, just imagine how much more joy I will have with more stuff. And of course, joy doesn’t work that way. Luminous spacious pristine joy comes from sufficiency. Sufficiency is not about more. Sufficiency is free of debris.
Ignorance. The pattern of ostrich head in the sand is a common protective move to feel safe. When life becomes “too much,” one way of dealing with too much stuff is to pretend it is not there. If I am not aware of and don’t acknowledge the stuff, I can live in a false reality that everything is OK – kind of like a child who won’t grow up. The problem is that precious energy is subtlety spent pretending, and we wear out. Sufficiency is not an illusion. Sufficiency is a visceral spacious experience of this sufficient moment.
Rejection. The pattern of fighting against what is, usually happens in a state of overwhelm, desperation and anger. Lack of attention to stuff which accumulates more stuff, and then in a fearful desperate place, lacking any space, massive energy is spent fighting and pushing away. Instead of facing and embracing stuff, reactive rejecting becomes pushing the proverbial boulder up the hill. Only in this situation, the boulder grows bigger. Sufficiency welcomes openly what is. Sufficiency is contentment to infinity.
In any moment practicing toward sufficiency, the internal and external stuff can activate one of the patterns above. You may have a favorite or a patterned sequence. It is no problem to activate a pattern – you likely will. The opportunity to grow embodied sufficiency is to recognize the pattern and PLAY (Practice) toward sufficiency.
Practice begins, happens, and ends, in the body. The practice is to give attention to stuff with awareness, so that you recognize and stay present with your direct experience. It happens simultaneously. Stuff internally is fully experienced (emotions, sensations, movement), as stuff externally is fully attended (received, acknowledged, decided.) The body has the opportunity to heal by returning to balanced energy, and the mind has the opportunity to abide in equanimity – no preferences – just authentic joy.
Allow these comments and questions to penetrate… what feels true to you about stuff? What patterns gets triggered when stuff is alive? How do desire, ignorance and rejection manifest in your experience? Where in your body is awake? How does your body support your attention?
Lastly, and always beneficial, be kind. Allow self-kindness to hold your practice and experience. Discipline with stuff is the work of the warrior. Sufficiency is the fruition of warrior work.
Attending to Stuff,
