As the youngest member of my family of origin, I developed, as I suspect many youngest children do, the capacity to plug in to any situation. It did not matter what was happening in real time; I could find a place to be, a way to contribute, and where to offer my energy. This skill included discerning who was in a “bad mood” and where to generate fun, or at the very least, safety. A form of survival for sure.
Today it is a valuable skill that serves life well. Being steeped in this container during my developmental years cultivated the embodied ability to plug in to the socket: present reality. In descriptive words, the ability to plug in means that I see situations clearly. I notice details. My mind is quick to perceive sense and respond. Hostesses love me. I already know where to help.
I don’t require cognitive activity to plug in, it just happens. Plugging in is second nature to me. I find it so easy, it has taken me decades to recognize it as a skill and to discover that not all folks can plug in, much less easily.
The flip side of this skill is the capacity to be a vast open receptacle for others, a kind of “out-socket” invitation, if you will. It is the ability to be big and clear, to reflect confidence in an obvious situation and to show what is needed. Others become gently guided to plug in to the present landscape with their offers.
Wow, for me, this is exciting and new. I know many who are experts in being big and clear for others to plug in. I have been plugging in to situations for many years. But I never saw the distinction until a recent conversation with a wise dear friend about the importance of being a socket. I was unaware that displaying the entire landscape was also a necessary and valuable competency. Building this new muscle is the next leg on my journey.
Upon contemplating both sides of this coin, we are called to assess our natural tendency as either a plugger or a socket. Both plugging in and inviting are important. Both address the action of connection. Are you the initiator of connection: a plugger? Or, are you the invitation of a connection, a socket?
After recognizing your natural tendency, along with concrete examples in your life, appreciate your capacity and claim that skill as viable and valuable. Then, contemplate the flip side and begin to investigate what it might take to develop your skill in the opposite. Try using the following wonder questions as an opening for your discovery. For the Pluggers who want to develop a socket: Hmmm, I wonder how I can create inner stillness and reveal the wisdom of my body, mind and spirit, for others to see and feel welcome? For the Sockets who want to develop a plug: Hmmm, I wonder how I can see more distinctions and take action out and toward, where my skills can merge with another?
The developmental areas for folks like me, the pluggers, are to be able to slow down, get still and reveal, with crystal clarity to many perspectives, what is needed and how to connect. The developmental areas for seasoned sockets are to be able to see the situation from many views (vast and granular), tap into a granular space, generate energy from within, and take action toward the connection.
The outcome for both ways is the same: synergy, growth, life, love, joy … all the experiences and ways we seek well-being.
When you have practiced your new way, consider an overlay of your relationship with money. The revelations and opportunities will easily and naturally illuminate.