Knitting, a Personal Story and Invitation

by | Aug 25, 2016

At age nine I wanted to learn to knit from my mother. For an unknown reason, my mother arranged knitting lessons from a person at the local yarn store for a friend and me. I was dumbstruck and devastated. When we were introduced to the teacher, I collapsed into a puddle of despair and sobbed. My mother had no idea what was happening with me. Her attempts to calm, console, and correct me were futile. After a combination of confusion and my meltdown, for a period that felt like an eternity, we left. The knitting lessons never commenced from my mother or anyone else, and we never spoke about the event again.

A weekend in July, I learned to knit from my 85-year-old mother, about 45 years from the event above. It dawned on me while hiking in the English Lakes Region that I wanted to start a new creative practice, and I realized that it was knitting. I purchased yarn at a beautiful yarn store while admiring the stunning creations of the store proprietor. In support of my declining mother with the cleaning and clearing of her home getting ready for sale, I asked her to teach me to knit. Even though her mental faculties are failing, her body keenly remembers how to knit and she willingly taught me. No, I do not aspire to be the knitting queen of the world. I’m content with simple scarves for family members as my current high aspiration. I am making lots of mistakes …

That’s the way it is. No problem.

We clean up the stuff that lingers in our soul.
We connect the dots that have long faded but still remain, unseen but felt.
We stay present to the current moment and follow our impulses, recognizing the importance of tending to each opening while the opportunity is here.
We recognize these openings come for a brief moment, and then disappear.

And my mother’s body still remembers how to knit, quite remarkably I might add. Her mind may be failing but she is very able to work those needles and produce quite a stitch. She is even inspired to start a project herself.

What was my childhood experience about? I can guess – it may or may not matter now. I guess it was about wanting a connection with my mother. I wanted her to see me and teach me something that appeared important to her. In present time, I feel excited. I feel intelligent and skillful in asking for what I want. I feel clear about my capacity to create something that has meaning and is beautiful. I feel a completion that has no words only wholeness; rightness. My mother’s attention in this small way fed me where there was a gap in my experience.

You might have your own version of knitting – something lingering in your life that has the potential to make a difference for you, in who you are, and who you are becoming. Money triggers are a perfect place to look for something lingering. To replay:

We clean up the money stuff that lingers in our soul.
We connect the money dots that have long faded but still remain, unseen but felt.
We stay present to the current moment and follow our impulses, recognizing the importance of tending to each money opening while the opportunity is here.
We recognize these money openings come for a brief moment, and then disappear.

Using money further, for almost twenty years, the first question in the Seven Stages of Money Maturity weekend workshop offered by the Kinder Institute is “What is your earliest money memory?” That simple opening invites participants to create an “Aha!” moment and a place to explore further. In my experience every individual has a family money story, belief or circumstance that calls for mature adult attention.

While the language mind offers thoughts, beliefs and stories, I add the messenger of the body. I ask, “Is there something – anything – not quite formed in words or thought that lingers in your body?” When asked, “What is your earliest money memory,” can you give space to the sensations, noticing movement, pressure and temperature that you sense in your body? Offer a thin veil of encouragement – wondering if there is a money “thing” calling you to connect the dots.

Listen without expectation. Practice more than a few times. Allow these gaps to show up in service of your wholeness. In present reality when so much is divided (need I say more?), giving attention to your gaps and becoming whole is the most workable skillful response. When you grow, your presence and attention benefits every person, situation, experience and place.

My work in the world is about connecting these dots, deep dots that are almost imperceptible. Somatic Finance® allows for profound exploration and becoming whole for the benefit of all that is.

Knitting for wholeness,
Gayle